You lie.

I used to trust you. I used to think I could let you come in and fix the things that you failed to get right the first (or second or third of five hundred and seventy sixth, etc.) time. But while you’re supposedly fixing things, you break other things. Little things, like, oh, my ability to boot my machine and do my work that, does trivial things like puts food on my table.  So I tell you not to fix things. Ever. Just leave them alone. I’ll make the decision on whether things need to be fixed or not. Now, I’m OK if you bring me the tools I need to fix things, SHOULD I DECIDE TO DO SO. Just put them over *points* there. See, I’m busy right now. Yes. Working. In fact, I’m in the middle of something rather important, to myself AND my clients. You know, those people that pay me for my work, that I do with my computer, you know, when it’s all running like it should be. 

OK so see my instructions to you? Are we clear? You’ll download the update files and you will LET ME CHOOSE whether or not to install them. Got it? Yes, I see that you do. Good.

OK Windows? I’m done working with you now. I’m tired and I’m going to go to bed. I think I’ll give you a rest too and shut you down till morning. What? 

Excuse me… WHAT?!?

You say if I shut you down you will install the updates. I’m sorry did you say *WILL*??? You just told me I CAN CHOOSE whether to install them or not.